Love is one of the most beautiful experiences which can happen to a human being. It makes one feel alive, open, new. It can reveal some of the unknown dimensions of one’s personality and make one’s consciousness expand. However, the very openness which is necessary to experience love, can also make one feel extremely vulnerable. This gives rise to the fear of being exploited or cheated by the other person. This wrong conditioning about love becomes a big obstacle to experiencing love. If someone strongly believes that his or her love will end in pain, they will see that it will end in pain. They will be waiting for it to end in pain. Their own cognition of people and their own selves will cause them to attract situations which will go on strengthening their wrong beliefs about love. This is because it is human nature to want to make one’s beliefs become a reality, otherwise one would not feel comfortable. That is the reason why conditionings about love, about life, need to be removed before one can experience pure love directly. The right understanding about love will help to go with the flow of love and experience real love.
The way to look at it is, when love happens, there is an intense super-consciousness waiting to break through the body and express itself. However, the secure, low mood logic, goes on saying ‘You will be exploited. If you are so open, so alive, anyone can exploit you – physically, mentally, emotionally and economically.’ Men have the fear that women will exploit them economically if they are too loving. Women feel if they are too loving, men will exploit them physically. Both of them feel, if they are too loving, the other will exploit them emotionally. So always the fear exists that if they are loving, they will be exploited. There is a certain logic in them which completely bans them from flowing.
One needs to understand that life is flowing like a river. Only two ways of living exist; one – the river which is embanked; second – the river which is dammed. Embankment does not stop the river completely, it only tells the river where it should not go. It gently guides the flow so that it keeps happening continuously and is useful, not destructive. This is one way of living life, with minimum rules imposed on the flow of consciousness. The other way of life is – completely blocking the river. It means dictating everything that one should or should not do, coming from a fear-based logic.
Love is like an embankment, guiding the flow of consciousness. The insecure logic which is against love is like a dam. All the people who are afraid of love are actually afraid of the embankment, but they don’t realize that they are caught in the dam! They are just afraid of the embankment happening around them. The fear of love and the insecure logic which denies love, and goes on creating wrong ideas against love, is a dam. Once the dam is built, it just completely stops the life force. There is no further growth, no further transformation possible. Not just the shine in the eyes, even the shine in the skin disappears when one stops the flow of love in them. Saying no to love is saying no to life itself. It is far more dangerous to deny oneself the experience of love, than any setbacks or restrictions one may (or may not) go through in love!
So when love happens, one should simply be in love without worrying about where it will lead, or whether one will be exploited or betrayed by the other person. Only then will one be able to experience love as the transcendental and transformational experience it really is.